Teach people treat you

In the opening keynote to the 2012 Nursing Management Congress, Sharon Cox outlined how managers can “add value in times of instability.” Although this was a conference geared toward nurse managers and other administrators and executives, its words and concepts apply to all of us, each as nurses and as human beings.

One thing she said (is on my list of favorite quotes from the conference) was: “We teach people how to treat us.” While searching through my notes, I discovered these words in all caps and circled them several times. That was a robust statement!

Think about it. Do you could have colleagues who are usually not true “team players”? Is there bullying within the unit where you’re employed? Are some nurses bullied greater than others? Why?

You can ask yourself similar questions in every relationship, not only within the workplace. If we allow ourselves to be treated badly, people will proceed to achieve this. I agree with this statement by Sharon Cox because allowing others to treat us with disrespect is as if we’re condoning that behavior.

So what’s the answer? In my opinion, the trick is to be “respectfully assertive”, that’s, to defend yourself without being aggressive or defensive. This is one in all those things that is usually “easier said than done”, but by being aware of how we perceive and react to certain behaviors and by making the needed changes on our own, we may have the ability to alter something.