World Autism Awareness Day – It’s our on a regular basis life

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. And while many individuals use it as a day to rejoice milestones, start conversations about awareness, and advocate for inclusion… I feel otherwise. I’ll be honest and say that not every single day is a day to rejoice. Braden was diagnosed at 20 months, didn’t speak until he was 4, and was almost 5 when he told me he loved me.

He has only been invited to at least one party in 4 years of faculty, and the phone never rings for a social gathering. He still likes to print out logos and watch Curious George. We cannot go on many family outings since the sights and sounds annoy him…he’s petrified of the ice cream truck, so days spent on the neighborhood pool are out. He is nearly 9, but still needs help showering and brushing his teeth; he cannot tie his own shoes. We have been through intensive feeding classes, sleep studies, social skills, and countless IEP meetings…simply to catch up with to some semblance of “normal.” I live in constant fear for his future…and for my very own mortality. What will his future hold? What if I’m not there to guard him, to look after him? It is frustrating, exhausting, and heartbreaking.

But… within the midst of all of it, there are those big brown eyes that take a look at me with unequivocal trust and love. Who has no boundaries for “personal space” but has began giving unprompted hugs and tells me “I love you, Mom” ​​in moments once I swear he knows I would like to listen to it probably the most. Autism awareness is on this house every single day… it’s our normal – good, bad, or indifferent.

He is our light. And even on our worst days, He is one of the best a part of me.
AND